Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
