Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
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