Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
i came on her dog
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Someone signed my nipple.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize