im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
