These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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