just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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