why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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