Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
