and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I think i got beer on your cat.
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