I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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