i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
