I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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