the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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