his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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