Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Randomize
