we're chasing vodka with high fives
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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