Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize