My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
