you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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