She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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