I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
