My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
