You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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