She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
