I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
i've created a new STD.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
