Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize