Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
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