It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
