my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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