I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
