pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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