My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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