went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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