I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
The adults are the big ones right?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
