You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
