i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
We have started to decorate penises.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
