I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I love having hate sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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