he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
