So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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