I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Randomize
