Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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