garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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