Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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