You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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