at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
