He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
