he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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