is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
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