I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
