Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
You can't special order awesome
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
