No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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