found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
