so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
