gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
