What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
