I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
