Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
