so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Randomize
