it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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