life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
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